Life Movie

I have always wondered whether anyone reads my blog or whether Im just typing into the void. I mean, although I can track how many people visit my blog, it's hard to put much meaning into those numbers. And if people were to read my blog, I also wonder whether they enjoy doing so, whether they gain anything from doing so or whether my blog is nothing more than a random open diary on the internet. These questions that I had were put to rest when I recently met someone who told me that he read my entire blog across a few days and how he enjoyed it. He told me that his friends thought he was watching a movie from the facial expressions he was making when he was reading my blog. That really moved me and convinced me that some people actually benefit from my blog and there is some use behind the time I spend on this blog. It's hard to know and realise this unless someone actually tells you so. Being motivated by the thought that someone out there is actually benefitting from this blog, I decided to write this post.

The time I had a wholesome time catching up with a high school friend.

I recently came across a person who is currently struggling and because I believe that we all face the same thing albeit in different manifestations, I've decided to share my thoughts here. This person was struggling with the thoughtless and negative comments people were making about him. I bet we have all experienced a situation where you talk to someone and the other person makes a hurtful comment in passing, perhaps even innocently without any malice, but it stings you deep inside nevertheless. In that moment you decide to smile, play it cool, and shrug it off but you realise that the comment never leaves you and you think about it constantly. Your brain then goes through your past memories to single out similar experiences and comments. Over time you then begin to believe that these similar patterns and iterations of events must be 'facts' and the 'truth'. Without you knowing it, you take these comments as 'reality' and they begin to form your opinion about yourself. These hurtful comments could be anything, from your appearance, your career, and even your dreams. People can make hurtful comments about anything and everything really, there's no limit.

The time I went beyond my comfort zone and agreed to speak in a forum in Malay during Malaysia's 65th Independence Day (context: I'm fluent in both English and Malay but I seldom speak Malay in professional settings so I was really nervous).

It's normal and natural to feel hurt by these comments. Perhaps you feel wronged by these comments because you know they're not true or perhaps you feel convinced by them and start to hate yourself. I believe that no matter who you are and where you are in life, you can never run from being hurt and disappointed by other people. And because of this very fact, it's important that you be there for yourself. It's important that you be your own supporter. When people hurt and belittle you it's important that you be kind to yourself. People will always make hurtful remarks but what matters is that you don't let them get to you. What matters is what you think about yourself. When it feels like the whole world is against you, you need to be there for yourself, you need to be there to offer that warm hug to yourself when the whole world feels cold to you. When the world is mean to you, you need to be kind to yourself. You are an amazing person and your life is precious and nothing people say will change that fact. You are the main character in your life and everyone else is conspiring towards the success of your plot as the main character. Every villain, every mean and vengeful character that gets in your way is there because you are the main character who will prevail against all odds.

Me every time someone feeds me good food.

You may think that I'm trying to preach delusional self-positivity without much substance but you're wrong. I see life as a movie with its own plot. Everyone is living their own plot and like any good movie, we all face conflicts and dramas. Every hardship we face is us living through our 'life movie' and it's important that we live through the hard moments so that we can live to experience the good ones. Just like how characters in movies and dramas go through character development which makes them develop and change from the experiences that they go through, we too go through the same thing. We all change with time, experience, and the habits that we have. We're all changing and developing into the version of ourselves that we aspire and work to be. I look back on my life and it amazes me how different I am compared to say 5 or 10 years ago. I am a different person now. I am the person I am now because of the experiences that I have. Every struggle, every mistake, every conflict, every moment up to this point has shaped the person I currently am. I am the version of myself who has triumphed against all adversity life gave me. I am who I am now because I accepted my imperfect self and was patient with myself. I believed that I could grow into the version of myself that I am proud of and that's exactly what happened. And the best part is - I'm still living that plot, I still have my life ahead of me and I'm excited to see how I'll change over time, over adversity, over happiness, over it all. But remember, this is only possible because I chose to be there for myself when things became rough. I'm able to look back on my life because I chose to live through and soldier through the ugly and bad parts of my life movie. When it feels like you have nobody on your side, be there for yourself, you are your biggest supporter and it's you against the world. 

Started going for reformer pilates to de-stress and work on my strength and flexibility.

I hope you remember that just like how the sun will always shine after moonlight, hardships don't last forever and that they too shall past.

                                                                                                                           Lots of love, oxo